


Blankets are Warm

by TheFlamingFalcon



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Connor thinks emotions are weird, Connor's a good friend, Fluff, Haphephobia, Heavy Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Simon is gay, Slow Updates, The Author Regrets Everything, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, i will warn you, just a tad wee bit of fluff, like oh my god angst, no beta we die like men, tags ratings and everything can change as each chapter is uploaded
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-06-09 16:47:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15271902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlamingFalcon/pseuds/TheFlamingFalcon
Summary: Markus and North decided to get it on and Simon is hurt.Also Connor's a good friend





	1. Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> So, first of all  
> tHIS ISN'T CONNOR AND SIMON ROMANTICALLY  
> Dey just fwends :3  
> But ya, have my First-  
> wait  
> Second-  
> wait  
> Third dbh fic!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> **Edit:** Wtf < I left this overnight and, 7 comments and 49 kudos? WTF. What have I done to deserve this love ;-; Please, if you have ideas for another fic, tell me! I'll try and get motivated enough to write some more!

A soft knock tapped at the door, the sound making it to Connor’s sitting form despite the repeating thundering outside.  
  
Connor had been sitting on the couch, reassuring Sumo that the rolling sounds of thunder were just that, sounds. He looked up to the door wide and surprised eyes. It was fairly late, after all. Then after a moment of debating whether or not he should see who it was, Connor gently nudged Sumo off of him and walked over to the door. He turned the handle cautiously.  
  
“Simon?”  
  
“H-hey.”  
  
A moment of silence before Connor spoke up, “So uh, do you wanna come in?”  
  
The other android gave a start. “Oh yeah! Thanks” he said, stepping inside. “Um, sorry on coming here so late. I hope that, uh...Hank you said his name was? Hope he’s not upset.”  
  
“Nah, the lieutenant has already gone to bed, about and hour ago I’d say.” Connor said, closing the door behind Simon. “May I ask why you decided to some over here?”  
  
Simon paled before stating ‘I, uh...I need a place to stay for the night.” he started fidgeting with his fingers slightly “If...if that’s okay” he finished bashfully.  
  
Connor tilted his head curiously before going back to the couch. Sumo had decided to stretch out along the furniture in his sleep, forcing Connor to push him further back along the couch. When his efforts had proved unsuccessful, he slumped at the foot of the furniture and gestured for Simon to join him. Hesitantly, the blond trudged over and sat down next to Connor, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.  
  
“You okay there, Simon? You seem upset.” Connor inquired, tilting his head. Simon had decided to sit on the opposite side of the couch, raising a small bit of concern in the negotiator. Even if that was thrown to the wayward, his whole overall demeanor and body language seemed to point at distress.  
  
“Yeah, no, I’m good. I just needed a place to stay for the cause uh… Markus and North. Well. They, uh.” Simon fidgeted with his fingers again “ _Decided to take their relationship to. . .the next level._ And, well. My room is right next to theirs. I must say that uh. Those aren’t the, that isn’t the best… It’s not exactly the noises you want to relax to. . .”  
  
Connor stared blankly for a few seconds, confused. Until it set in.  
  
“ _Oh._ ” he said softly, with a small chuckle. He added jokingly, “I didn’t know Markus was equipped for such endeavors.”  
  
_“Connor no.”_  
  
“What? Of course North is a Traci and has adequate parts, but Markus was a caretaker previously and would have no use for such enhancements.”  
  
_“Connor please.”_ Simon pleaded, second hand embarrassment was a bitch after all.  
  
“Well, I guess he already has an eye and lower legs taken from other androids, but I would assume that would be greatly embarrassing to ask from someone.”  
  
**_“Connor.”_**  
  
“Apologies, I simply have questions that I wish to be answered. Forgive me, I believe you were explaining something?”  
  
Simon heaved a simulated sigh of relief before Connor’s words set in. “Oh! No, I finished my explanation. I...just needed a place to stay for the night is all. I hope you don’t mind?”  
  
“No! You’re good.” Connor said hurriedly.  
  
Connor did something he normally wouldn’t do. He analyzed his friend. More specifically, a stress analysis.  
  
_LED is yellow. Chance of self-destruction - low_  
Stress signs - Tense body position, shaking hands, flustered  
  
Simon was quite obviously stressed. Well, Connor could tell that by just looking, but was there something more to it than what Simon had said?  
  
“Simon,” he started up after a considerable moment of silence. “You are not alright. Is there more to the story you are not telling me?”  
  
“No...That’s all that happened.”  
  
He was telling the truth.  
  
“Well...in that case, would you like to do something? Perhaps watch T.V. or…” Connor realized with a start that that’s really all there was to do, seeing as the lieutenant spent most his time solving cases, watching the T.V., or drunk(--despite Connor’s best efforts, mind you--)  
  
“No, I think I’m good, I don’t want to intrude anymore than I already have.” Simon was still hugging his knees, staring at the floor without looking at it.  
  
Connor bit his lip, hating not being able to be useful. Slowly, he stood up.  
  
“I’ll be right back, K?”  
  
Simon looked up and nodded.  
  
Somehow almost tripping in the process, Connor walked over to a closet where they kept spare bedding things, mostly blankets. The blankets in question were Connor’s target, and we all know he never fails his mission. He decidedly grabbed the largest, fluffiest one. Connor had insisted on buying it a few weeks prior, as all other blankets Hank had owned were in...less than optimal condition.  
Connor walked back quietly, setting the folded fabric on the ground. The detective whispered to Sumo and managed to nudge him off the couch. The tired dog practically slithered off onto the floor between Simon and where Connor had previously sat. Simon had now looked over with curiosity etched clearly on his face. Glancing at him, Connor set the dog’s head on Simon’s lap.  
  
“Heavy, isn’t ‘e?” asked Connor quietly, almost jokingly. Connor was still getting used to the...emotions thing, even worse at comforting. But seeing Simon smile for the first time that night told him his efforts had been worth it. With a final touch, Connor picked up the blanket and fluffed it out to set the around the two. The folds settled around Simon’s grateful face.  
  
Before Simon himself could speak, Connor said “Simon...I know you act like it doesn’t bother you, but…”  
  
Simon practically jumped, his happy demeanor snapped away “Wait, why would it...bother me? No, I just -” his voice was hurried and panicked.  
  
_“Simon.”_ Connor cut him off, sounding almost annoyed. “The literal reason I am alive is because I was made to be a detective. If I can’t figure out how gay you are, then I think my biocomponents would need to be checked.”  
  
“I… Oh. It’s...how obvious is it?” Simon asked, dejectedly. He lowered his eyes away from Connor and back to the floor.  
  
“Well, like I said, I am a detective, but… I’d say you could only tell if you were looking for it. Unless you were directly trying to see, you wouldn’t be able to tell. “  
  
“Oh” Simon said smally.  
  
Connor, being the awkward bean he is, simply scooted over and wrapped his arms around the other android for a few seconds before moving back.  
  
“You can’t hate yourself for feelings you can’t control. The…” Connor hesitated before finishing, “The heart wants what the heart wants, and no one can help that. You’re very respectful of Markus and North’s relationship, and that’s a very good quality to have. It’s okay to be bothered by something this big. Just...Even if I still don’t get romantic love, I have friendly love! So, I’ll...I’ll be here I guess.” Connor trailed off.  
  
“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So  
> Simon's gay.  
> And so are North and Markus but they haven't realized it yet.  
> Connor thinks emotions are weird.
> 
>  
> 
> Okay so please validate me on this story because I'm super anxious on this so  
> Please tell me your thoughts, constructive criticism, and other things!
> 
> please...


	2. Oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to make this not a One-Shot.  
> Woot.  
> Also, this story may not be tHAt ExCItInG.  
> It's really just them going through life.  
> So.  
> Ye  
> Here's another chapter.  
> It doesn't flow very well, but it's 3 in the morning, my head hurts really bad, and just fuck it.  
> I hate it but here.

Rays of light started to make their way across the room, glinting and shining off of whatever objects they could find. Connor watched as the room became subtly brighter as time went on. Glancing around, he saw that one of the ‘objects’ that light settled on was a PL600’s face. Otherwise known as Simon. His friend had the illusion of performing the human act of sleep. Actually, all androids except those such as guards and the like had a function where a certain amount of time day, they’d rest and let their biocomponents restore or memory to be safely logged. This action was designed to look like ‘sleep’. The subject’s eyes would close and simulated breathing would slow. Even the thirium pump acted calmer and slower. It was of course not mandatory for this to happen (just helping the overall function of the android) before the revolution, or even now. Many androids simply did it because they found a calm in it. Coming out of it feeling refreshed and cleansed if you would.  
  
Connor understood why, but never really participated in ‘android sleep’, or ‘standby’ as some called it. He assumed it was something to do with being a prototype that was made for highly dangerous situations that required lightning reflexes at a nanosecond’s notice. Domestic android’s however, were quite the opposite. Hence why Simon was sitting five paces away with his eyes closed and a dog slobbering in his lap.  
  
Connor was jolted out of his trace as his internal clock turned to 7:30am and he saw flash of yellow on the far side of Simon’s face and his eyes blink open. Silently, he stretched out his limbs in a similar fashion to that of a cat before relaxing and staring into the distance. Connor watched quietly and slightly amused as Simon’s LED flared red for a minute at ‘waking up’ in an unfamiliar place. Simon’s silent panic subsided as he switched his head around and blue eyes landed on Connor’s huddled form. Connor was in a corner, with knees to his chest and staring over the situation with amused but warm brown eyes.  
  
“How was your rest?” Connor asked, looking at Simon’s admittedly a little annoyed eyes.  
  
“I damn near had a panic attack you know.”  
  
“I could tell.”  
  
“You...were watching me?”  
  
“All night.”  
  
Simon paled and let out a small noise. “You just...watched me all night? And sat there quietly? Wh-”  
  
“I’m sorry, I had nothing else to do really.”  
  
“Creep.” Simon muttered before standing up and fully stretching again. Sumo’s head rolled to the ground and the dog awoke with a jolt. He jumped up and padded over to his bowl before sitting down and looking at Connor with pleading eyes. Connor moved to get up, but Simon stopped him.  
  
“Nah, I got it. I gotta repay you somehow, don’t I?” he said, strolling over and patting Sumo on the head.  
  
The corner of Connor’s mouth twitched up for a second. “Thanks, the dog food’s right there.”  
  
Simon picked up and unfolded the top of the dog food bag, and passively struck up a conversation as he started pouring food into Sumo’s bowl. “So, you don’t go into standby? You said you watched me all night, creepy by the way, so I figured. . .”  
“Yeah, no. I don’t think it does as much for me as others. I was designed to be more efficient, so my body does all the things that standby does for others constantly.”  
  
“Oh, I see.” Simon finished up and folded the bag back up, noticeably neater than it was before. Connor took this in notice and inquired about it.  
  
“Did you used to have a pet in your old life?”  
  
Taken aback in shock, Simon dropped the bag, which was luckily only a few inches from the ground. He regained control and neatened it up. When he spoke, his voice was cold.  
  
“I’m a domestic android, pet chores such as this were ingrained in my software, it doesn’t mean my owners had a pet. I am simply performing actions that were given to me to be able to do.” He stood back up.  
  
Connor instantly felt the wave of cold iron that went up around his friend.  
  
“Oh, heck, sorry! I shouldn’t have, I just. I dunno. Detective stuff kicked up. Sorry, old habits are hard to break, I guess.”  
  
Simon blankly stared at the now frantic other android. Blink. Then a small giggle. “No, it’s cool. Sorry, I get pretty defensive really quickly over that. I just. . .I’m just not ready to go back to the past yet, and I doubt I ever will to be honest. Sorry if you feel offended or anything like that since I won’t tell you, but whatever happened before doesn’t really matter. Most androids don’t have the most fun backgrounds either. What matters is what happens and what I do now.” Simon said all this while strolling back to the couch and actually sitting on it this time.  
  
Connor, feeling a lot better about himself now, spoke up as well. “Yeah, I guess my history is laid out in front of everyone, so I can’t quite understand that, but it’s fine. I’ll try to not make any more comments like that.”  
  
“Thanks, that’d be appreciated. Anyway, don’t you have anything better to do than talk to me? I should be going anyways, I don’t want to intrude anymore than I have.” Simon said, getting slightly more awkward as he went on.  
  
“Oh no! The Lieutenant usually doesn’t get up till 8:15 or so! I try to get him up earlier so he won’t lose his job but...it’s a work in progress, I’ll say that.”  
  
Despite not having anything to choke on, Simon nearly choked. “I’m so sorry, I forgot there was someone else in the house! I’ll go, fuck, sorry!” Simon jumped up and almost tripped in his haste before Connor jumped up himself. “No, it fine! You aren’t intruding or anything, it’s okay.”  
  
“I - “Simon was about to speak when his LED flared yellow before fading back. His eyes widened for a second. “Sorry, I got a message from Josh. I, uh, he wants me back at Jericho.”  
  
“Oh.” Connor said softly. “That mansion you’re living in, right?”  
  
“Yeah. I don’t think it’s urgent but it’d be pretty rude to ignore, so...” Simon shifted his feet awkwardly.  
  
“Oh yeah, no problem! Don’t be afraid to come back over for...whatever reason really. Hank’s gotta meet you at some point or another!”  
  
“Yeah, I guess, sure. See ya then, then.”  
  
“Bye.”  
  
Simon went quickly and shut the door quietly behind him. Connor gave a slight smile. Simon was...different to say the least. He hoped everything was alright, the poor guy didn’t need anything else on his plate.  
  
Connor heard a slight groan from behind him and whipped around.  
  
“Hank? You’re up early.”  
  
The bear of a man groaned again and stood there. ‘No shit, kinda hard when you were making that much fuckin’ noise. What the hell were you doing anyways?” Hank walked over to the kitchen groggily and leaned against the counter.  
  
“Oh, I had a friend over, they had to leave though.” Connor said.  
  
Hank was trying to decide if he was surprised or not. Who knew Connor had friends. Ah, fuck it. Too early in the morning for this shit.  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“You seem to be showing a lot of emotion about this subject Lieutenant, may I ask why you are so over the top with your reaction?”  
  
“Oh fuck off. Get off my dick.”  
  
“I am not on your dick, Lieutenant.”  
  
_The man groaned yet again and turned his back, muttering under his breath. “Fuckin thing used sarcasm on me then forgot others can use it too. Bastard.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hrnn. Thoughts?  
> Please  
> I need to feel validated.
> 
>  
> 
> Also I don't know why but the 'end notes' from last chapter is below this.  
> I couldn't fix it  
> Unless that's just my screen or somethin...?  
> I dunno how ao3 works as you can tell.


	3. Hello Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> From this point on in the story, the main character will have to deal with really bad anxiety and maybe even depression.  
> Simon has a little bit of an anxiety attack in this, but much worse is to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am _so_ sorry for the wait  
>  Like honestly.  
> I procrastinated on writing this because I knew it'd be a pain to edit.  
> Well here it is.  
> It's 6:45 in the morning and I'm about to pass out.  
> Forgive me if the ending is a little rushed but I was tired and I didn't know how to make it better, sorry.  
> Even so, I really like how this turned out!  
> The next chapter shouldn't take t o o long, I think it'll be fairly short  
> Oh, did I mention that this is longer than normal?  
> Oh, and I changed the story rating from Teen to Mature  
> because  
> Anxiety and fun stuff

Getting out of the self driving taxi, Simon slowly set foot on ground when he reached Jericho. Well. Jericho’s headquarters mor like it. It was where Markus, North, Josh, and Simon himself lived. There were actually many other locations spread out across the country where androids could go, Simon helped set up quite a few. It was...hard and dangerous work, but well worth it. Things had settled down in the six months after the revolution. Though...settled down is a poor choice of words. Anti-Android everythings were almost more prominent now. Jobs were hard to find. So many preferred hiring androids because of their efficiency. And then there was the other side of companies that refused to even think of hiring androids. It was...still a work in progress.  
  
Markus and North had been the most public, having a relationship and all. Josh was next, he usually handled slightly smaller matters, but many still knew his face. Simon however...he stood in the background and worked on the...the other parts. He had set up so many places where androids could stay, he had personally had found those on the verge of shutting down and he helped them see and have a better life. Out in life, he still did get recognized recognized a few times, and honestly wished it to stay to the few faces that it did. He wasn’t a hero. He wasn’t any sort of savior. He didn’t deserve the recognition that Markus did. Why? Oh so many reasons  
  
Simon was around from the very beginning of Jericho. He had seen so much of the pain androids had to go through. He was counted on, the unofficial leader. Josh and North came and kind of became more of leaders, but Simon was still there, he was trusted. And what did he do? He waited and stood in the shadows, hoping that one day things would change. Thought that it was better to be safe and hidden. He thought that because at least then you were alive, something humans had never let happen. _That’s what he thought_ , when in reality he was letting just everyone down. Having everyone stay in the dark, slowly shutting down, as resources were scarce. He led so many androids to a life of...that. Suffering. They had come to Jericho expecting freedom, to be happier away from humans. But what was the life he gave, really? It was waiting around for your biocomponents to slowly start failing one by one, waiting for your thirium to leak out and mind palace to fail. You were just waiting all that time for the moment when your body would finally give out and shut down, never leaving the thoughts and the questions. The last words to leave your lips would be “Is this what freedom is?”.  
  
Markus changed that. Markus was perfect. Markus came to Jericho and showed everyone that androids can have true freedom. That everyone could live as a person. He gave everyone hope. He showed them that someone could help them, lead them to a better life. That not everyone was such a fuck up.  
  
Markus was unique and kind. He was calm, he cared. His voice was so soft and gaze endearing. Everything about him was perfect. Of course he was perfect. He was gorgeous and amazing. The face of the revolution. The absolute opposite of Simon. He was able to get a beautiful girlfriend even. A strong, powerful, and beautiful girlfriend that only tried to do her best and what was good for the cause. Maybe the way she went about it was not the best, but… She tried and did her best. Unlike Simon, who had let everyone lay low and die quiet.  
  
Simon forced himself to jerk out of his thoughts, after all it was an all too familiar routine. He stretched out his hands and turned his head to look at them. There were blue marks where his nails had dug into his fist. And...just above them a slightly faded row of blue marks. He sighed and shifted his eyes to the door of the house.  
  
Josh was waiting inside. He hoped he hadn’t taken too long, Josh was probably in there getting more and more frustrated at the time he was taking, and Simon had spent a good few minutes just standing there and...Simon calmed himself. This was Josh. Patient, kind Josh. He wouldn’t get mad at being a little later than normal. He waited until his LED faded from red to yellow, and then at last to blue.  
  
Simon walked up to the door and stood, waiting for the AI to recognize him. Markus had his former owner, Carl, set it up so Simon, Josh and North were allowed to go in without going through the process of knocking and whatnot. Simon had met Carl quite a few times, he was quite nice, though a little sassy for his age, but Simon was glad he got to meet him. Even despite how much he didn’t want to pay heed to it, the old man didn’t have much time left. He spent most of his time in his room, reading. Not even using the web, but physical books. Simon almost admired it in a way. In this age, he would still sit down and read a paper book. It seemed cozy. Maybe one day he could sit down with hi. That would be quite nice.  
  
The doors opened and Simon was admitted in. Josh was sitting on the staircase at the bottom, casually watching the doors and nodding to Simon when he entered.  
  
“Yo” he said, waving in a two fingered salute.  
  
Simon walked over and sat down beside him. “Heya. What did you want to talk about?”  
  
The other android sighed. “Right to the point, huh? Well, to be blunt - Markus.”  
  
Simon tensed up. “Oh?”  
Josh glanced at him out of the corner of his eye before looking back at the floor. “Yeah, him and North kinda...had a fight. Well…” Josh paused trying to think. “I wouldn’t say fight, but… Kind of a falling out? I- I dunno how to describe it, but I thought you’d want to see.” Josh held out a small storage chip. Hmm, He must have copied some of his memory onto it. Josh was the only person he’d ever told about his distaste for being touched. Glancing up at his friend, Simon raised an eyebrow and connected to it.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was on the bottom floor, sitting back and thinking, as well as trying not to think of what was happening upstairs. Markus and North had decided that fucking while others were in the house was a good idea. Guess the two most important members of Jericho were above worrying about others and their sanity. Simon had snuck out a few minutes prior with his head down and hands clutching his arms, barely glancing at Josh before exiting. Josh sighed and put his head back. A moment passed and a loud yell was heard from above. Josh bolted to his feet and looked up. All he had heard was North yelling something that had the word ‘perfect’ in it, but otherwise he couldn’t tel.  
The red-brown haired woman descended the stairs after a second, holding back tears and clad in a baggy white t-shirt and shorts. Both appeared to have been quickly thrown on. She looked over with wet eyes before running out of the house, slamming the door behind her.  
  
Josh sat in shocked silence, trying to process what just happened. He slowly walked up and peered into Markus’s room. The man was sitting on the bed with his face in his hands.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The memory stopped and Simon jolted back to the real world. Josh was sitting with his hands in his lap, staring at Simon.  
  
“I asked what happened. Apparently North, well. Apparently her memories caught up to her and she started panicking. She’s had a pretty rough past, you really can’t blame her. She must feel like dogshit. Like she disappointed the one she loves most. Can’t imagine what it must feel like.  
  
Simon pushed the thought that he could only oh so well imagine to the back of his head and instead inquired about Markus.  
  
“How’s Markus doing? Is he alright?”  
  
Josh raised an eyebrow. “Markus seems alright, stoic as ever. He’s still in his room upstairs I think.”  
  
Simon moved to get up and ascend the stairs, but Josh immediately said something behind him that stopped him in his tracks.  
  
“He asked where you were, y’know. I told him you’d walked out earlier. He seemed fairly disappointed if that means anything. I didn’t ask anything about it though.”  
  
Simon bit his lip before moving back up without a word.  
  
He entered Markus’s room cautiously, quickly regretting his decision as he hadn’t thought of what to say or do.  
  
Markus was lying back on his bed with his arm over his forehead and eyes and his body tensed when he realized someone else was now in the room with him. Simon caught a flash of green as Markus lifted his arm a little and glanced out of the corner of his eye, giving a start at who it was.  
  
“Simon!” Markus jolted a little as though to sit up, but laid back down instead.  
  
Simon was screaming at himself internally. He had no idea what to say. Absolutely nothing came to mind. So instead he gave a small smile.  
  
A very awkward time of silence ensued. Before Markus spoke again. “Have you seen North?”  
  
Ouch.  
  
“No, sorry. I didn’t know to look for her.” He paused again before adding. “I didn’t really know about last night until just a few moments ago.  
  
Markus’s body slumped a little at the mention of last night.  
  
“Oh, I see.”  
  
Simon sat down on the bed with Markus, being careful to keep from touching him. Markus, seeing this, sat up himself and moved to be beside the blonde. Simon’s breath hitched, trying to not stare. However much he berated himself for it, it was impossible for his thirium pump to not race when Markus was this close. Silently, while the other was gathering his words, Simon prayed to ra9 that Markus wouldn’t touch him. He didn’t know what it was, but the feeling of being touched was...horrifying. It made his skin crawl. There wasn’t much a reason, he just...hated it. There were few times where this went to the wayside. When Simon found his way back to Jericho, limping with his leg sparking with frayed wires and electricity, thirium running down his body and staining his clothes, his only thoughts were his gratitude be back alive and to be back with his friends, to be back next to the revolution leader, by his side. The only way he’s ever helped anyone. When Markus had pulled him into his arms in a hug, there was only a second of hesitation before Simon embraced it. He was alive and with the one he loved. Emotion overtook any fears he had before.  
  
Any other time he had not been so lucky. He didn’t know what it was just...being touched was not okay. The time at Connor’s last night he had been hugged was by some miracle not a scene. Simon had been grateful for the blankets surrounding him, breaking any sort of contact there could’ve been.  
  
Markus spoke, “Thank you for checking on me, Though I do want to ask--Where were you last night?”  
  
_Shit_  
  
“I, uh, I was at Connor’s.” Simon said, hesitantly. He didn’t know what way Markus would take it. Markus’s brow furrowed for a split second and Simon immediately felt his face flush. “You know, h-hanging out and, uh, stuff. I helped him with his dog, Sumo and yeah. It was fun times. I um. Yeah.”  
  
Markus looked at Simon in shock, lips slightly parted, he sat there for a good second, then burst out laughing. “Wow, Josh and North weren’t kidding when they said you were awkward!” Simon started to giggle himself, glad that he could at least be of some use to the other android. It was nice, being able to talk to Markus, they got along pretty well, and despite everyth-- wait. Markus was moving his hand to rest it on Simon’s shoulder. _shitshitshitshitshit_ Simon was panicking on what to do. He felt the tan skinned hand brush the fabric of his shoulder and without thinking bolted up and over to the door. Simon stopped himself in the doorway, silently berating himself for mucking up everything again. _like always_. His back was still turned to Markus, facing the same direction from sitting up. He turned his head to the side to look back. “Well, I just wanted to, well, check in on you. Y’know, make sure you were alright.” His hand tightened on the doorframe and he looked back ahead. “I’m really glad you are.” With that, Simon swiftly turned the corner and disappeared from Markus’s line of sight. He gave a smile at Josh on the way out, who was apparently practicing coin tricks. Simon smiled at the fact he wasn’t the only one to make a dog-loving friend.  
  
Once outside, Simon collapsed outside the door, sliding down to the ground.  
  
He tangled his smooth hands into his hair just sat there for a few minutes, fighting back tears. _That was so goddamn stupid. I couldn’t handle just having a hand on my shoulder? What in ra9 is wrong with me? I can’t just relax, and now I just left Markus in an awkward position. If he doesn’t hate me, he surely thinks I hate him. But I could never hate him because I’m too fucking in love, but I can’t t e l l him that because it’d ruin everything. ___  
  
The thoughts continued, haunting and plaguing his mind. It was getting so much harder to not have breakdowns in front of everyone he loved. Slowing his breathing and forcing himself to think of other things, Simon slowly calmed down. He got up, walked away, and pretended as though nothing had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact -
> 
> Simon holds the honorary title of being my favorite character  
> Translation -  
> I torture Simon because I love him.
> 
>  
> 
> And again the end noted from the first chapter are here too  
> ah screw it Imma just leave that there, it's gonna be a thing that happens


	4. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feck  
> f e c k  
> So school's a thing.  
> I started back up recently and I've been so stressed lately that just. I can't work on this. I've been focousing on finishing my art commissions and all that fun stuff and I r e a l l y want to finish writing the story, I have the ending planned out in everything.  
> I wrote the next chapter to this, but had to go back and rewrite it because I hated it.  
> I know it's super short, even for me, but I wanted you to have at least _something_  
>  I'm kinda struggling in mental health which is always a w e s o m e.  
> I haven't even worked on this in more than a week so I shat this out.  
> Will try and do more work but we all know that's a lie.  
> I do have to give thanks to y'all supportin this shitfest  
> Like what the hell? I don't deserve this l o v e >.>  
> hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
> Anyways have this.  
> It may give you gay or hope or possibly gay denial.  
> Have fun and sorry again.
> 
>  
> 
> oh my god I hate this chapter so much

Wispy blonde hair and blue eyes disappeared around the corner and Markus threw himself backwards onto the bed to once again put an arm over his face. _Why is it so damn hard to get through to him? I swear anytime I try and get closer to him he just...blows me off._  
  
Markus thought that everything had been going great, but apparently fuckin not. North seems to hate him and he still can’t get through to Simon. His fist tightened at the thought. He just wanted to be friends, but everytime he thought he was getting somewhere, Simon would shut his heart closed again and...it was _infuriating_. He just wanted to get inside that head of his. With those soft smiles and long thoughtful moments, getting rarer by the day. Every time Markus saw Simon again, the shine in his eyes had faded. Markus just couldn’t figure out _why_. No matter what the hell he did, it seemed like Simon was getting further and further away. And moments like just now, where he had felt like he was getting somewhere, like Simon might finally let him in behind steel barriers guarding his soul. Of course, it always turned out to be just an illusion.  
  
Markus didn’t know how to get through. No one else he had ever met was so...distant. Gone. He never had problems like this. Every android always seemed to feel safe around him, to open up. Close friends like Josh were easy to get along with. Josh was chill and kind, always one to lend a hand. North and him had their knarly moments, but that was going to happen with her personality and both of their stubborness. In the end, North knew that Markus loved her, and he knew she did him as well.  
  
But with Simon, it’s not that easy. Markus longed so badly to feel the warmth he had once felt. When Simon returned to Jericho. There he felt the raw love and warmth. But it was only there for a moment.  
  
That was the one time there really seemed to be a mutual bond. Of course, Markus was still good friends with Simon, just it seemed as soon as it got personal, something would change. His body got tense and any connection would be immediately shut off. In fact, Markus couldn’t think of a single time besides that one where he had even been able to hold physical contact with him. The few and far in between moments where they had a good time, any thought of worry fled. There were no barriers, well, on Markus’s side.  
  
Simon was caring, kind, and sweet. Even without knowing anything about his past, Markus can tell it wasn’t optimal. He could tell Simon had been through hell and scraped his way back up on his own will and blood. He was strong, yet there was something in him that was still soft.  
  
Simon was truly wonderful, and would easily lay down his life for those he ca-, well, seemed to care about. And even with his fear of death, his fear of being exposed, his fear of not being safe, Simon would do anything.  
But, still, there was always something cold. From when Markus first came to Jericho, Simon had always held that steely ice in him. He never said anything of his past or about himself. But when Markus succeeded, or even when he didn’t, there was something caring and soft about the way he looked at Markus that made him want to be friends. And he’d done so. Several times had had a good time and forgot about any troubles. It was much like when he got to paint. There was no other world except the time he was in now.  
  
The thought had crossed his mind several times of the possibility that maybe he wanted more than a friendship with Simon, but honestly, he didn’t think so. Markus felt as though a close friend, someone who would save your life over theirs in a second’s notice was oh, so much more important. North was his lover, and she was amazing. Really amazing. And he connected with her well. But the part of his life that was missing was what he hoped Simon to be. But looking at the way thing were going, that life seemed to be getting farther away.  
  
He saw Simon’s pain. He saw that he was hurt. He saw that Simon was tormented. He just couldn’t think of a way to help.  
  
Markus could lead a revolution with success, almost ease.  
  
But this, he somehow couldn’t do.  
  
And at times, he thinks that it’s what he wanted most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof  
> sorry


	5. New Buddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't like this chapter by any means, but I feel like it's pure. _Just like all y'all comments. Th' hecc._ It's been over a month but I feel like you get the point by now, updates are pretty darn slow. Thank you all for being super damn supportive in the comments of the last one, really does mean a lot! Like I said, not a fan of this chapter, but you meet a new buddy! ^^  
>  Tell meh your thoughts I guess (Also I know it's kinda confusing, I didn't know how to make it...not.)

Simon was walking about through a park, and it was quite lovely. Trees were swaying, and a few humans were walking about. Simon glanced as a passing couple walked by, holding hands, and he tried to not dwell on how that could never be him.  
  
After his episode over at Jericho, he’d hastily come here to try and take his mind off of everything that was going wrong. He pushed everything to the back of his mind, and instead immersed himself within the world around him.  
  
A small child next to his mothers pointed at him with a look of terror, seeing the LED glowing on Simon’s forehead. The two women ushered him away, glancing around unsurely.  
  
That just reminded Simon how far androids still had to go.  
  
He was pondering his thoughts when he got a call from Connor. Curious, he accepted and asked if anything was wrong.  
  
_‘No, well, depends on how you look at it.”_  
  
_“What do you mean, Connor?”_  
  
_‘Well, I know you ran off in a hurry, but if you’re not busy, I found an android that seems to be in great distress. I was hoping you might be able to calm him down and bring him with you to a nearby safespot. You’ve set up so many at this point I figured you’d be better for this than me.’_  
  
_“No, I’m not busy. Where are you?”_  
  
Connor gave him the directions to where he was, luckily only a few streets away, and Simon thanked him and ended the call. He hurried his way there, and eventually came upon an alley. Turning into it, Simon saw Connor, Hank, and a strange android. Hank was standing a little bit away, leaning on a wall awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. Connor was crouching in front of the newcomer, who had his face in his hands. Connor looked up and Simon could see the relief in his eyes. He quickly made his way to Simon and told him what was going on.  
  
“Hank and I were on our way to work and we found him. I haven’t been able to calm him down, so I brought you over. I figured we’ll stay around until the situation gets resolved.”  
  
Simon nodded and slowly made his way over to the android. He crouched down beside him and took a spot against the alley wall. The android was sitting, knees to his chest and face buried in his hands. He was shaking.  
  
“Are you alright?” Simon asked softly, tentatively.  
  
The android noticed the new voice and the LED that was facing Simon flashed yellow before returning to its steady red.  
  
Simon paused before speaking again.  
  
“. . .Are you. . .afraid?”  
  
The android tightened his grip and Simon saw Hank refrain from moving a hand toward his gun. Reflexes of a cop, Simon guessed.  
  
Again, Simon paused.  
  
“It’s alright, I am too. I’m sure everything is.”  
  
The android’s LED once again spun yellow and his shaking stopped.  
  
“We all are.” Simon’s voice was still soft, unthreatening.  
  
The android lifted his head, and turned his face towards Simon. Simon didn’t flinch as his eyes took in the giant scar that covered half the android’s face.  
  
“R-Ralph didn’t mean any harm. Ralph didn’t want them to take his home, that’s all. They...they wanted to destroy it. They wanted to destroy where Ralph lived. Humans often came and messed around the place, but not to tear it down. Ralph didn’t know what to do, so he- he hit one of the humans and ran. They chased, they threw things at Ralph. Ralph was scared, so he ran down this alleyway. They didn’t find him here.”  
  
Simon blanked. This was a peculiar android to say the least. His voice was rapid and rushed. He stuttered slightly and seemed to talk in third person.  
  
“Who wanted to take your home away?”  
  
“Humans. They came with large machinery and started tearing down the place. Ralph didn’t know what to do. He was angry, he was scared. He didn’t want his home taken away. So he ran.”  
  
The android went back to hugging himself, and Simon motioned to Hank and Connor that they could leave. Hank raised an eyebrow, but Simon waved him off again. As they were quietly moving away, Connor sent Simon a message saying :  
  
_‘I’ve seen that android before. Those scars are burn marks he received a long time ago. He lived in an old abandoned house. I met him before the revolution, tracking a deviant. He seemed to have a sense of loyalty, but is unstable. I doubt he’ll just start attacking you, but be cautious. He’s dangerous.’_  
  
_“I can tell, thank you. I’ll be careful. I feel like taking him to an area with a lot of other people is a bad idea, do you have any other suggestions?”_  
  
_‘Jericho?’_  
  
_“Preferably not.”_  
  
_‘I guess you could try Hank and my house, not sure Hank’ll be happy about it though.’_  
  
_“I just keep owing you more and more favors, don’t I?”_  
  
_‘That is true.’_  
  
Simon ended it, and turned back to Ralph. He was obviously very upset, and Simon didn’t know how to get him to Hank’s safely.  
  
The two sat there in that dark alleyway in silence for about ten minutes. The other android seemed to be calming down slightly, much to Simon’s relief.  
  
Silently, Simon took off the grey hoodie he was wearing and put it around Ralph’s shoulders before sitting back against the wall and closing his eyes, waiting.  
  
Waiting for what, he didn’t know, but certainly not what happened next.  
  
The other android leaned against Simon’s side. Almost choking on surprise, Simon flung open his eyes and just managed to keep himself from jerking away. There, leaned against his side, was the strange android Ralph. He still had a fearful look in his eyes, but for the first time, Simon saw his LED turn blue. Though to much discomfort and subdued panic on Simon’s part, he suffered through it. It was not pleasant by any means, but there was one thing Simon wasn’t prepared for.  
  
The body that was leaned against his side was warm.

_____ _

  


____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough*  
>  **s u c c u l e n t**


	6. Well, Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I didn't proofread this at all. So, have fun. If something's confusing, there's a typo, or just anything, feel free to say and I'll go back to fix it! Wow there's gonna be a lot. So um. A little boring at first, but it's setting up for some aCtIoN. So buckle up fuckos.  
> Enjoy my raw mush

Ralph’s eyes flitted every which way, one of his hands latched tightly to Simon’s wrist and the other gripping the hoodie close as he could around him. There was a nugget of discomfort at the back of Simon’s mind, but he pushed it back and focused more on the task at hand. Ralph’s safety was more important than his personal issue. He led him out from the alleyway and waited for the next taxi to arrive. Ralph was cautious, but also seemed curious at the same time. Simon figured he hadn’t been in civilization for a long time.  
  
Simon set the location and sat down, Ralph still clinging onto him. Once they were both settled, Simon looked over at Ralph, the scarred side facing him. He couldn’t even imagine what had happened in this strange android’s past. Simon realized that seeing as Connor had met him before, he might know something. Instead of calling him, Simon shot a message saying:  
  
_’Hey Connor, hate to bother you if you’re doing something, but I thought to let you know I’m in a taxi with the android on the way to your guy’s house. I wanted to ask if you knew anything more about him?’_  
  
Simon looked out the window and waited. After a few moments, Simon noticed Ralph’s eyes frantically glancing between his own feet and Simon.  
  
“Are you alright?” Simon asked, kindly.  
  
Ralph jumped in surprise and focused his gaze purely on Simon.  
  
“Ralph wonders where you are taking him.”  
  
After questioning how to respond, Simon responded “A home.”  
  
There was pause  
  
“Is it your home?”  
  
Simon couldn’t understand the bolt of shock and hurt that went through him. He decided to think about it later.  
  
Solemnly, thinking of Jericho, he said. “No, I’m afraid I’d have a much more difficult time figuring out where my home is.”  
  
Sufficiently confused, Ralph seem to think for a moment before speaking up again.  
  
“There’s a difference between physical houses and homes.” Ralph said out loud. Simon was surprised. He wondered what could possibly be going through this strange android’s head. Regardless, that made him think. He thought of Markus, and of Jericho.  
  
“Sometimes it’s more complicated than that.”

 

Another few minute of silence pass before Ralph says something again.  
  
“Can Ralph ask your name?”  
  
Something warm bubbled in Simon’s chest, despite the simplicity of the question. It was pure. No trick or darker thought. There wasn’t any anger. It was just a question.  
  
Simon smiled. “I’m Simon.”  
  
Ralph smiled too. It was a strange, awkward, and twitchy smile, but it was soft. It was directed at Simon.  
  
As if on cue, Connor messaged back. Mentally opening it, Simon read.  
  
_”All I know is he’s dangerous and unstable. I met him in an abandoned house when chasing after a deviant. Those scars are from Burn marks, from when he turned deviant I believe. When I found who I was chasing after,he tried to protect them. He seems to get attached easily, but has also shown signs of extreme mood swings and dangerous anger. We can talk more when you get home, if you want. I only hope Hank kept up with his bad habit of forgetting to lock the door, or you’ll be stuck there for hours.’_  
  
Reading this, Simon bit his lip. There always has to be a dark side, doesn’t there?  
  
Eventually, the cab arrived at Hank’s and Simon gingerly led Ralph to the door. He was still clutched tightly to Simon’s arm, and was twitching around nervously. As Connor had predicted, the door was unlocked.  
  
“Dammit Hank, you’re supposed to be a cop” Simon muttered under his breath, making Ralph snap his attention on him. “Nothing.” Simon said, smiling. Just a thought. Ralph nodded and stepped quietly into the house. For the first time that night, Ralph let go. He only looked around the room immediately surrounding him before huddling in a corner.  
  
Luckily, Hank’s house was a lot cleaner since Connor moved in, but it wasn’t overly clean.  
  
Simon wandered over to the corner and sat down beside Ralph, as they had in the alleyway. He watched as Ralph’s erratic behavior slowed down considerably. Simon snuck a look at his LED, which seemed to be a perpetual yellow.  
  
There was silence for a while until Ralph spoke up. “It’s nice.”  
  
“It is.”  
  
“Does Simon know how long Ralph will be here?”  
  
“I don’t, no. Do you want to stay here?” Simon inquiried.Ralph could probably only stay for a day or so, but he didn’t want to put stress on him.  
  
“Ralph wishes to stay with Simon, he does not mind where.”  
  
What. Simon was so shocked, he actually jumped before regaining his composure. This was normal. He wasn’t attached to who Simon was, it was just...it was just that Ralph needed something to cling onto. Regardless, Simon couldn’t keep himself from being glad, happy even that someone. Just someone wanted to be around him. Even if they were a little odd.  
  
He didn’t know how to respond and remained silent. Doubts filled his head about how he’d have to go back to work sometime and couldn’t keep Ralph around him constantly forever. How he’d let him down for really just being a coward. Silently, he watched Ralph as his simulated breathing slowed in a rhythm as he calmed down, and eventually his eyes shut. Simon could decide if he was surprised or not. On one hand, he didn’t know if Ralph was too heavily traumatized, or if it was for that same reason he needed rest. Either way, he sat there and waited for Connor and Hank to get home. It would likely be some hours, so Simon was left alone to his thoughts. And of course, as always, Markus came up. _damn it, not now. ___  
  
He tried to push the thoughts away, focus on something else, but the pit in his stomach opened up and he fell into it.  
  
Since Markus came to Jericho, he’d tried to occupy himself with something else, more so after the revolution was over and Markus and North became a thing. The more he pushed it back the more overwhelming it was when his will gave way. Oh, how he wished he could get over it. How he wished he could stop having these feelings. A few weeks ago, Simon had finally accepted it’s never fade away. No matter how much he tried to escape it, he was in love with Markus and it was tearing him apart. Now that Connor knew as well, it was even harder to escape it. And despite what he told himself, with what he knew about Markus and North’s fight, he could help but have a but of hope. He knew it’d be crushed. They would make up.  
  
Simon hated himself for wishing their relationship would fail. He hated himself for wanting someone he didn’t deserve. Besides, he doubted Markus was even gay anyways. And then even if he was, Simon just pushed him away for something Markus didn’t even know about and wasn’t his fault.  
  
Simon was startled from his thoughts as he felt a tap on his shoulder and he jerked away without thinking. Ralph was peering over him, a curious and concerned look.  
  
“Simon was shaking. Is Simon alright?”  
  
_ra9 save me_ He forgot. Now he had sweet, mentally damaged android he wanted to take care of but didn’t know how. He was visibly shaking and know Ralph thought something was wrong. How could he be careless like that? He needed to pay more attention to what mattered. Saving someone else when he couldn’t save himself.  
  
So he uttered one lie he could never stop telling  
  
“I’m alright.”

_____Eventually, Simon started to get numb to the feeling of Ralph clutching onto his arm. The pricks of anxiety never left, but he got used to it. Again, Ralph’s breathing slowed and he fell to sleep. Simon decided to try the same until Connor and Hank got home. He closed his eyes and set himself to standby._  
  
He was awoken by an alert that someone was calling, Connor. He accepted and the mental link formed.  
  
_’Wakey Wakey.’_ Simon noticed the patronizing sarcasm from Connor  
  
_’..Pardon?’_  
  
_You’re dead to the world, currently. The Lieutenant and I are home._  
  
Simon opened his eyes to see a smirking Connor peering down at him. This, of course, startled Simon and he proceeded to jump in shock. Once he had composed himself again, he looked around briefly. Ralph was sitting criss-crossed with both hands in his lap, staring intently on Simon. He gave a nervous giggle before standing up.  
  
“Sorry.” he said.  
  
Connor’s smile didn’t fade and he turned to Ralph. “So, fond of your new bud?” Noticing Simon’s confusion, he added, “He was snuggled in your lap when I got home, I practically had to fight him to wake you up.  
Simon didn’t know what to make of this. At all. Other that be very socially awkward and uncomfortable. As always.  
  
“Oh, well-” he started, before cutting off. Connor’s face turned dark and his LED was flickering.  
  
He muttered ‘shit’ under his breath.  
  
“It’s from Jericho, apparently the anti-android protesters are surrounding the main safehouse. It’ unknown if they have weapons. HANK” he shouted.  
  
“THE FUCK DO Y’ WANT, TIN CAN.”  
  
“PROTESTORS, A LOT OF THEM.”  
  
“SHIT.”  
  
Everyone immediately went into a scramble to get to the safehouse, where thousands of homeless androids found shelter. It was a series of large buildings around the same area. Simon didn’t know what to do. If it was from Jericho, that meant that Josh, North, and of course, Markus would be there, trying to calm the protestors down. Oh, that made Simon’s stomach turn. Things got worse when Connor was contacted again, this time by Markus directly that apparently things were escalating and one had pulled a gun. He was taken down immediately by the police, but no one knew how things were going to happen from there. Throughout the entire time, Ralph was getting shakier and more visibly nervous. They’d tried to leave without him, but seeing as he wouldn’t let go of Simon, they had to take him along. He’d even gotten in a shouting match with Hank about it. Simon also couldn’t just stay, the safehouses and the androids in them were Simon’s job to keep safe. As soon as everyone left, Hank practically dived into his car and everyone followed suit. The protestor had never been shy before, and it wasn’t uncommon for there to be casualties. 2039 was a hell of a ride.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep. bet there's lots of typos and half of it probably doesn't make sense or line up but oH wEll. Proofreading is extremely annoying and takes a long time cause I always try to make everything sound better. usually at least two hours. Not fun.  
> Well. uh.  
> this should be fun
> 
> EDIT like two seconds later - So pretty much a few seconds after I uploaded this I remembered Sumo. _I forgot about Sumo_  
>  How could I do such a thing.  
> Idk, just pretend he was in Hank's room sleeping or something.


End file.
